Mama Bear

There have been a few moments so far in my life where I have felt the full on "mama bear" instinct kick in. The first was before Elena was even born and I nervously watched the heart monitors, giving ever calm balanced breath and every thought in my head to will her to be ok. The next was when she had a febrile seizure and mere seconds were the longest moments of my life. The first two moments were medical and over in a short while, but nonetheless still left a lasting impression and prepared me for today... mama vs daycare.

It's no secret that our childcare situation as of late is not ideal, is not what was planned and certainly wasn't what I wanted. I have been trying to be patient, to look on the bright side of that we even found a daycare for Elena, but it has been a lot of change. She was only in the toddler room for 6 weeks or so before the center wanted to transition her to the 2 year old room. She was finally hitting her stride and it felt a bit like the rug was pulled out from underneath us, and I kept telling myself (keep telling myself) that things will get better. The weeks have gone by, the drop ups have continued to be brutal and Elena (and I) have tried to adjust to the differences of the 2 year old program at Creme dela Creme. Rather than being with consistent teachers/in one room, they are moved every 30 minutes, the people I drop her off with aren't the people that are with her the majority of the day and if they are short a teacher in another room, one of the two of her main teachers frequently step out. All small things, but can have a big impact on some kids.

And I think Elena may be one of them.

The first hint was when I picked her up one afternoon and the art teacher said "she has such a beautiful smile" as I held her in my arms, and she beamed to see me, which was followed by "she never smiles in my class". Ouch, insert guilty mommy and beginning moments of concern.

That was followed by me picking her up a few days later and as she came over to me and began chatting one of her main teachers commented "wow Elena what good sentences". Elena speaks at home... a lot... as in all the time. So of course, I looked at the teacher with my brows raised and she continued "Elena we have to get you talking in class"... concern is heightened.

A few days of getting sheets that were copied instead of personalized with Elena's events of the day, followed by hearing one of her teachers has been assigned a mentor and finally followed by a pick up of seeing her crying at the door with no one near her nor an object of comfort and the stage was set.

For today... when she was picked up during playtime outside, when it was 30 degrees and the wind was blowing and she had no hat on.... NO HAT ON, NO HAT ON!!!!

I lost it, thankfully - this was the one day that Chris picked her up, so I didn't lose it right then, but I certainly called and spoke with one of the Directors who of course said they would talk with the teachers, etc. I am trying not to blow it out of proportion as all of this isn't about the hat, but the mama bear is on the prowl now. I am worried and not sure of what to do. We don't have much option between now and when her program at Lincoln Park Prep starts, but I am ever more convinced that it will be a better place for her. The problem is that is 8 weeks away and this mama bear feels like she needs to rip someone's head off.